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Baldy

Oh Baldy, Baldy, Baldy, where did your hair go?
When it comes to hair elsewhere you got your fair share though
Did it all fall out at night when someone gave you a fright?
Or was it slow, slow and gradual?

Yeah Baldy

Solo

Yeah Baldy, Baldy, Baldy, shine like a beacon
Dress up right, you might look just like a deacon
And there is hope yet for your dome
‘Cause every hat needs a home
And it’s oh, oh so natural

Yeah Baldy

Solo

Bottle-Top

If this bottle-top were bigger, I would sail the seas, yeah
Fix myself a sail I figure on the ocean breeze, yeah
On the ocean, on the ocean breeze

Up and down upon the waves and bobbin’ to and fro, yeah
Sometimes racin’ right along and sometimes goin’ slow, yeah
On the ocean, on the ocean breeze
And who knows where I might end up?
Rotterdam, Manhattan or Sidcup
In this little bottle-top

Yes, if this bottle-top were bigger, I would sail the seas, yeah
Fix myself a sail I figure on the ocean breeze, yeah
On the ocean, on the ocean breeze
And who knows where I might end up?
Rotterdam, Manhattan or Sidcup
In this little bottle-top

The Boy Who Couldn’t Whistle

Here’s a little story ‘bout the boy who couldn’t whistle
He could do all kinds of things like read and run and wrestle
But ah poor him, he lost his vim and vigour

He’s the boy who blew and blew until his face was blue-ish
Every day he’s pray and pray for God to grant his true wish
He was tense and lost his sense of humour

His friends all said - “Just hum along”
“Just hum along to any song”
But he was far from satisfied
Just bein’ on the outside

He’s the boy who grew and grew and learned to play percussion
Lookin’ back he’d laugh about his worries and his fussin’
Life was rough, but he was tough as nails
Yeah, life was rough, but he was tough as nails

Brave Horatius

Soldiers to the left and soldiers to the right
And the raging river below
Hold on tightly to your four-leaf clover
‘Cause there’s nowhere left to go
Save your bacon, Brave Horatius
Save your bacon, Brave Horatius

‘Cause we see what you’ve done already
And we know that you’re already

Brave Horatius, Brave Horatius, Brave Horatius

Every Other Bone

He wore a hard-hat in the circus
He didn't want to break his head
But he broke every other bone instead
Yes he broke every other bone instead
When the cook … mistook him for a crook
One sneeze … and he fell off the trapeze

He wore a hard-hat in the circus
He didn't want to break his head
But he broke every other bone instead
Yes he broke every other bone instead
He coughed … as they hoisted him aloft
Bad luck … when all the horses ran amok

He wore a hard-hat in the circus
He didn't want to break his head
But he broke every other bone instead
Yes he broke every other bone instead

Some fool … forgot to fill the divin’ pool

chorus

Flower Garden

In a flower garden there are always things to delight in
Forget about fussin’ and forget about fightin’
Do your very best to find the things you like

Take a little time to be amidst all the splendour
Take a little time to weave and to wend and
Do your very best to find the things you like

Chorus

Repeat verse 1

Chorus

A Chest Magnificent (For Osiris)

From the cedar of Lebanon
And from ebony too-oo-oo
It was a chest magnificent
And it was for Osiris

Come my brothers, try it out
Well, what have you got to lose?
He who fits best takes the chest

It’s not my place, my place to choo-oo-oose

Young Beards

Don’t you think it’s a good thing
That little children don’t have to shave
Well, it’s hard enough to keep their faces clean
Brush their teeth and hair

Don’t you think it’s a good thing
That little children don’t have to shave
There’d be nicks and cuts all over their faces, yeah
And traces of shaving cream

But then again it might be fun
To see a beard on a child of one

Midnight Struck

Midnight struck, Cinderella stuck to her plan
Rotten luck, running away from the man
Who thought that she was beautiful, oh yeah
And I guess he wouldn’t mind if the dress that she did wear …
Had a tear or two, or seven, or a hundred and eleven, yeah, yeah, yeah

Midnight struck, suddenly she wasn’t there
A stroke of luck, she left her shoe on the stair
He thought that she was beautiful, oh yeah
And I guess he wouldn’t mind if the dress that she did wear …
Had a tear or two, or seven, or a hundred and eleven, yeah, yeah, yeah

No, I guess he wouldn’t mind if the dress that she did wear …
No, I guess he wouldn’t mind if the dress that she did wear …
Had a tear or two, or seven, or a hundred and eleven, yeah, yeah, yeah

Mr Boring

If you have a cup of tea with the likes of me
You’re bound to find yourself staring at the shelf
Looking at the clock, chewing on a nail
Wondering how a day could so completely fail
‘Cause I’m Mr Boring, I’m Mr Boring

Hey, Mr Horsey, why the long face?

Hey, Mr Sunflower, why so droopy?
Were you up all night to be so sleepy?
Don’t you know that you can spread your seed far and wide …
To the neighbour’s fence and the other side …

Hey, Mr Horsey, why the long face?
You could win first prize in just about any race
Show us how you can run just like the wind …
With your nostrils flared and your ears pinned … back
Show us how you can run just like the wind …
With your nostrils flared and your ears pinned … back

Some Kids Are Just Not Meant to Be Pilots

Some kids are just not meant to be pilots
With their shaky hands and their scattered brains
Some kids are just not meant to be pilots
So keep them well away from planes

So to the cockpit let’s not lead them
Let’s heed what Mother Nature says
Some kids are just not meant to be pilots
Let them fly in different ways

Some kids’ hands are meant to hold easels
Some kids’ hands are meant to grip wood
Some kids are just not meant to be pilots
This is what I’ve understood

So to the cockpit let’s not lead them
Let’s heed what Mother Nature says
Some kids are just not meant to be pilots
Let them fly in different ways

Rump of Jackal

Rump of Jackal is what I feel like for dinner tonight
“Hold on,” said the butcher, “we’re all out if that”
“Then I’m anxious to know if you can provide me with ear of ostrich tonight”
“You’ll never guess what just happened,” he said,
“We just sold our last … ear of ostrich to the lady …
Going out through the door right now in her bright blue shoes”

It’s getting hard to find my favourite foods in this town
Every day it gets harder to find my favourite foods in this town
It’s just not available anymore
Not at the butcher’s or the grocery store
I say not at the butcher’s or the grocery store

Skinkypants

There’s a skink in the grass
I don’t think he’s gonna last very long
With all those felines on the prowl
I’m ready to step right in just to speed him along
Is there nothin’ I can do for you, Mr Skink?

Chorus

There’s a skink in the grass
I don’t think he’s gonna last very long
With all those noses to the ground
I’m ready to step right in just to speed him along
Is there nothin’ I can do for you, Mr Skink?

Chorus

Skint and the Imp “Ecunious”

We’re Skint and the Imp “Ecunious”
We go where the wind is blowin’ us
And don’t abide … by the laws that keep good folk indoors
We brush our teeth and do our chores but not inside
And we make our way by playin’ songs that people seem to love

Yes, we’re Skint and the Imp “Ecunious”
We go where the wind is blowin’ us
And don’t abide … by the laws that keep good folk indoors
We brush our teeth and do our chores but not inside
And we make our way by playin’ songs that people seem to love

Oh Skint, won’t you play that song again (that song again)
The one with the funny rhymes
Oh play that silly song again
The one about the goat who sent a letter to his sister many times ...

Thankless Tasks

I have started counting all the grains of sand I see
Currently I’m up to 43
When I reach a hundred, well I’ll take a rest I think
Go inside and have a little drink
Ooh it’s tiring, but someone’s got to do it

Some say it’s a waste of time, some say it can’t be fun.
I bet they’ve never been past 21
If you get to 30 then you really shouldn’t quit
It’s obvious you’ve got the hang of it
Ooh it’s tiring, but someone’s got to do it
When it comes to thankless tasks it’s a good one
When it comes to thankless tasks it’s a good one

Tryin’ to Sing Really High

You can be afraid of the deepest caverns
And you can be afraid of the darkest waters
But you should never be afraid of tryin’ to sing really high
You can be afraid of the sharpest pain
Yes and you can be afraid of the bulls of Spain
But you should never be afraid of tryin’ to sing really high

Lai la la lai lal la lai (la la lai) x 2

You can be afraid of the Mongol warlords
And you can be afraid of creeky floorboards
But please don’t be afraid of tryin’ to sing really high

Lai la la lai lal la lai (la la lai) x 2

What the Sea is Like

Gazing over the land
I’m imagining water and sand
Hurry on little train
I imagine again and again
And I wonder … what the sea is like

Won’t you give me a clue
Is it really all shiny and blue?
Will the water be cold?
Do you promise the sand will be golden?
I wonder … what the sea is like

Oh how I wonder and the journey is long
More time to ponder, as we rumble along, what the sea is like

Gazing over the land
I’m imagining water and sand
Hurry on little train
I imagine again and again
And I wonder … what the sea is like
Oh how I wonder and the journey is long
More time to ponder, as we rumble along, what the sea is like

When the Bow Flew Out of My Hand

When the bow flew out of my hand
It was very, very embarrassing
I didn’t know they thought it was planned
It was very, very embarrassing

When that bow flew out of my hand
I was so close to leaving the band, a whoa …

It hit the new girl right in the nose
It was very, very embarrassing
And then the whole damn orchestra froze
It was very, very embarrassing

When that bow flew out of my hand
I was so close to leaving the band, a whoa …

World Geography

My fencing teacher comes from Hungary
My piano teacher, she’s from Laos
The boy next door’s from Ecuador
And I’ve been inside his house

Oh mummy, what’s happening to me?
Well, I think I’m just about as international as I can be
Oh, world geography
Oh, world geography has got its hold on me

The postman, he’s from Mexico
And his wife’s from the Philippines
The street’s replete with Brazilians
And they sure eat a lot of beans

Oh mummy, what’s happening to me?
Well, I think I’m just about as international as I can be
Oh, world geography
Oh, world geography has got its hold on me

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